Wednesday, 9 November 2016

Marry your kind

We have seen and heard of the increasing rate of divorce recently, i really do think some of this could have been avoided if only we had looked inward while picking our spouses. If only we weren't carried away by looks rather than originality. If only we had been true to ourselves enough to marry our kind. Please this is my one cent thoughts on how marrying your kind would go a long way to define your marriage.

To avoid problems in your marriage, please marry your kind.

Bros, If you don't believe in human hair, make-up and bling bling, please relocate to the village and marry Nwakaego or Usunobu or Ayomosi. Do not pursue a spirited woman, who loves to speak her mind and look glamorous, and then try to turn her into a no-jewelry, no-makeup mute after marriage.

Do not marry a woman who does not believe in submission with the hope of bending her to your ways after marriage. You would be courting fire then. Why do you want to kill someone's spirit that way? Why do you think she will allow you do that to her?

Sis, please don't pretend to be who are you not just because you want to have that partner. That means, you do not love yourself. If you loved yourself, you would not need to pretend to be someone else just to get married, because the truth is, no one can pretend for too long, and when the mask falls off, trouble rolls in. Be proud of yourself, boo. It's attractive, believe me.

Bros, you see a spirited woman and she blows your mind in ways you never even imagined and you desire strongly to have her. You know deep within you that you have no business being with her but you go ahead to ask her out and get her to think that you are all for what she stands for, then after you marry her, you start talking about how she should tone down on her beliefs and opinions, how she should be submissive to you. You wanted her for that purpose, to conquer her. Are you not looking for trouble?

Sis, don't settle because you are anxious to get married. Don't get married because tongues are wagging. Don't get married to just anyone. Get married to someone who is made from the same cloth as you, or at least let it be a matching combo. Get married to someone who gets you, who knows all of you and wants you exactly the way you are. Don't marry an insensitive and unrepentant philanderer with the hope that he will change after marriage. Don't listen to them when they say he will change. Don't listen to them when they say you should help him change. IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO FIX A BROKEN MAN. He should desire to be someone worth being with, he should desire to be relevant, he should desire to be a responsible person. No matter how much you try to "help" him, you will not succeed unless he desires to change. Change is something he must do on his own because you are in no position to determine who he is. Even if he is willing to let you help him, you may only succeed in turning him into what you want. It still won't be him. Let him go fix himself. Let him find himself.

Sis, if you are the humble and docile kind, please marry someone who appreciates that. Don't marry the one who would take for granted your decency and humility. Marry someone whose dream is to have a soft and gentle woman in his life.

Many marriages are tumultuous today because the people in it are strangers to each other. There is no intimacy in many marriages because there was an invisible wall between the couple from the beginning.

Marriage is supposed to be beautiful, but we turn into something so meaningless that it lacks any appeal these days. For God's sake, please, marry your kind!


By Ochuwa Jessica


  1. Spot on post.. Never pretend for no man or woman but you can be better after marriage.. Being one'self is highly important in life..

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  2. ok o, this one is for us who have not started self, what about those who are already having the cat and rat issues as married couples, any hope for them?
    This was a nice read.

  3. Beautiful article. It all starts from the sense of self. As soon as I read the first paragraph that highlighted looking inwards, I knew you know what you are talking about. Thank you for sharing.

    The world needs to understand this.

  4. If only people knew this before going into courtship talk less of marriage. Likes repel and opposites attract doesn't really work again.
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  5. So true. Marry your kind and you will have a fulfilling marriage.

  6. I agree!
    The rate of divorce is alarming.
    Marrying your kind and not rushing into marriage because of society and pressure from your family can work.

  7. Yes this is powerful write up,and I hope the singles will take advantage of this


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