Tuesday, 9 August 2016

Don't exchange marriage vows unless you're ready to live true to them - Betty Irabor

Better Irabor 

The publisher of Genevieve Mag, who has been married for 34 years, wrote: "Two weeks ago, I had arthroscopy and as always, my hubby was by my side; just as he was always there through out my ante-natal days and two deliveries. Ask him what hour my children were born and he would give you the minute by minute details.

Before I was wheeled in, we goofed around and took pictures. He made me laugh so much that all anxiety vanished. As I momentarily looked back on the day Soni and I exchanged vows "to love each other for better for worse, in sickness and in health" I realised that many couples have no idea of the weight of those vows until one of the two partners faces some setback.

And then that moment when it dawns on you that your marriage was founded on convenience. In sickness and in health!? What does that even mean? I know of a man who moved into the guest room the moment his wife was diagnosed with cancer leaving her to travel that bleak journey alone. .

I know of women whose husbands cannot even be reached when their wives go into labour. I know of women who bail out of their marriages because their husband's biz took a nose dive. As I was wheeled back into my room, there he was... His face a mix of anxiety and an assuring smile!

Like most young ladies, I was starry eyed when I took my vows, they were just vows; I was getting married and hoped to live happily ever after. The truth is, those vows are not some nursery rhymes you repeat after the priest or pastors,they are sacred! Your marriage will depend on them! .

Don't utter them unless you're ready to live true to them. Taking those vows in front of 500 applauding guests is not the same as renewing them everyday in front of that one person to whom the vow was uttered. Life happens. We can't avoid that. But give your marriage the best shot. .

Don't give up on each other too soon. Don't forget those vows. Hold them dear to your heart. In all of our journey together Soni and I have found ourselves under the umbrella of His grace! Our latter years shine even more than the former. We bless God!"

Culled from Instablog9ja

This woman right above this writeup is my inspiration everyday. She touched my soul each time i read from her. She is strong, bold and fearless. (post for another day).


  1. I totally agree with her... If you know you not ready to stay through to that sacred vow,don't bother going into it..

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  2. True tho,its not easy may God help us

  3. I always think that questions about marriage should be for women and men who are already married. Your last post talked about marriage not being an achievement and I disagree. Marriage like Bettys' is an achievement.if she is lying about the happiness is her problem but what she has explained for me is an amazing achievement. Most of us grew up around broken homes, fathers who cheated or abused their wives, mothers who were just downright stubborn and that sort of discourages one from wanting to be stuck with one spouse who could either be good bad or ugly. People who have stayed in love and trust each other for so many years is something to be proud of. To look at your spouse and feel all giddy inside with pride, love and all those amazing affections we think is only for teenage love is an amazing thing. Marriage is not an achievement maybe but a happy home is an achievement, being married to a great spouse is an achievement.
    No one should feel the pressure to marry. I think that for a society like Nigeria, we like to worry too much about how ppl see us, what ppl think about us even though we keep fronting that we care not. When celebs who are single publish photos on their public accounts, 50% of their fans are saying: won't u go get married especially for the females as if there is a school u should go to so u graduate with a husband. It's sad it's stupid and it's so deeply rooted in the minds of even the most educated Nigerian that a woman should be married at so and so time.y? Because the pressure begins from our parents then other family members, so called friends and the next thing you too begin to think the same way. Marriage no be by force biko. The sooner ppl *cough* Nigerians stop thinking this way, the better we shall all begin to live

    1. This explains this post better. Thanks sweetie for stopping by.


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