Friday, 13 May 2016

A pastor's perspective on how marriages can work in today's society (a must read)

Pastor Funke Felix-Adejumo, wife of Bishop Felix Adejumo, the founding pastor of Agape Christian Ministries, is one of Nigeria’s most graceful female enthusiasts and motivational speakers. 

She has become a philanthropic powerhouse, financially empowering women. 

Founder of Funke Felix Adejumo Foundation (FFAF), a development agency set up to help women, the farmer-turned-preacher is an English graduate and an accomplished pastor and teacher. Her great passion for womanhood has led her to establish the Grace Orphanage and Children’s Hospital.

She is blessed with four children, Ayomide, Oluwadamipe, Imisioluwa and Inioluwa. Last week, precisely Friday, April 30th, 2016, she was one of the Guest Speakers at Kings Way International Centre’s(KICC) “When Champions Gather”.

She spoke about many things- Excelling as a woman, excelling as a wife and excelling as a mother! She also spoke about her background and 31 years of marriage to the man of God. Men were also not left out, “Before you switch off, this is for you too! The message is built to speak to both men and women”,she said.

City People’s TESSY MOORE brings you one of her teachings.
“If your husband is to repay your dowry after 3 years, would he increase it or would he reduce the money?

A house can be strong and a house can be weak, depending on what it’s been built on. Marriage can be sweet or delicious depending on the cutlery you use to eat it! A good marriage takes work but it takes two people. A woman is often a product of her childhood.

Amongst my siblings I was the one who cared about everybody. I wasn’t loved and appreciated and it wasn’t a polygamous issue as in from a monogamous family. Strangely my father was there for me. I had the best of relationship with him. He would hold my hands and teach me how to write. I got born again at the age of 14, then I began to read and study the word of God and that healed me. I met my husband when I was 19. God sent him to mentor me. He spoke to me; he made me see life differently. Told me I was beautiful and that there is nothing I couldn’t achieve, he spoke to the woman in me.

Genesis 2:18- It is not good for man to be alone, I will make him a help mate for him.

What is a help mate? Someone to surround him. You were created to surround your husband; as a woman. The man was created because God wanted to; the woman was created because she was needed! You were created because you are needed.

So, a woman must be sound, career-wise; she will not be totally dependent on her husband and I tell women if the totality of your financial life depends on your husband, you are a colossal disgrace; you are a waste. A woman should have her own. A woman should be economically empowered, that is what I believe in and I preach it and I live it. I believe that if she is privileged to be married, her husband should be known among the elders when he sits at the gate.

The truth of life is that ‘THE GREATEST THING A MAN NEEDS IS NIETHER SEX NOR FOOD BUT RESPECT’. Therefore, the life of your husband must be better, just having you in his life; you repackage him, you revalidate him, you believe in him, you plan your life around him; you satisfy the man sexually. You contribute to his life intelligently. You make sure the man sees you as a gift. A woman should be well packaged and submissive; you can also be a combination of brain and beauty. I don’t believe that you should take care of your life as a woman, only taking care of your spirit. I believe there should be a balance, you must be sound spiritually but at the same time, you must be physically presentable, people will look at you before they listen to you. At 37, a woman should not look 67. She should repackage herself, rebrand, look good and look neat, look presentable, at home, outside

Tell yourself- “I am needed”. So, don’t go around with a low self esteem, your husband needs you and if you’re not married, tell yourself “There’s a man out there that needs me”. Yes!

On the other hand, if you’re a wife and you’re not meeting the needs of your husband, you are a colossal waste. Surround your husband and help Him. Some people are present but they cant help, others can help but aren’t present! Thank God that He is our ever-present help.


For the men, as a man, you are a 7 fold ministry to your wife

You must provide for your wife. Don’t allow your wife to provide for you.
Marriage is for two advanced forgivers. Don’t allow grudges to build up, they create walls
Prevent evil from happening to your wife. Prevent people from taking your wife for a ride.
Prevent something’s from happening to her! There are things that should never occur to your wife.

Don’t let them happen.
Permit your wife to shine. Give her some place and space. Make her feel important. Permit her to enjoy life, to shine! You say your wife is not beautiful! Give her £10,000 and send her on holiday for two weeks, by the time she returns you wont even know it is her. Some of you don’t know your wife’s shoe or bra size.
When last did you open the door for your wife? It is not about culture, it is about honour
Be kind to your wife. Grow as a man. Provide for her. You can not react to every thing as a man
Your greatest honour as a man is in your home
8.You must protect your wife- from wicked in-laws, don’t let your family or even her family oppress her.

9.Provide for your wife- There are two types of husbands, a man of means and a mean man.

10.You must prefer her, when last did you open the car door for her? Honour your wife; let her know she’s important! Pamper her! Drive her on those long and inconvenient journeys, if there’s only one car, give her prioritized access to it.


As a woman, you are many things to your husband and as a man, there are 8 things you should be to your wife.

Don’t marry a man because of what he drives but what drives him
Seduce your husband. Don’t always allow your husband to ask for sex. As a woman your under wear should match
You must be a different woman to your husband every time. Be creative. Don’t be predictable. Give him what he wants.
Everyone woman has an influence. If you lose influence over your husband you have lost womanhood
You must learn to synchronize with your husband. Be part of his plans
Don’t have too many children. Sex is not all about making children. Dress to please your husband
Don’t fix time to have sex with your husband.When a man is sexually satisfied he is emotionally stable
As a woman you should invest in yourself spiritually so you can adequately support him. Build yourself as a prayer warrior so that you will not be forced to pray at the end of your life.
I agree with almost all but why must my husband provide for all my needs? Is he a money making machine?

Secondly, why cant I provide for my husband, afterall, iron sharpens iron, they say, if he can buy me something, I should be able to reciprocate, isn’t that romantic?

As a woman you are a helper!
The one who you are helping must be stronger than you! Once you are married, you are somebody’s helper and the helper is meant to have what the person’s need! As a wife, you are meant to surround your husband! Women are natural keepers; men take care of your wives so your life can be long! The woman is your helper. Treasure your wife, let her feel important!! Let your wife know that she is important. Women, you are your husband’s helper, stop looking helter skelter! You are there to help him and God will reward you.

As a woman, you are a builder!!
Proverbs 14:1- A wise woman buildeth her home! We need wisdom to build. You must know when to speak, when to keep quiet, when to comfort, when to build!

As a woman you are a servant!
Titus 2:4-5- These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

You are a cook, cleaner, laundry woman and nanny!

When last did you love him and lay his head on your chest? When last did you run up behind him and kiss him?

Once a bride, always a bride!! Stop calling him daddy or papa Joseph!! He is your husband! You are a servant, not a slave

12- You are an intercessor!

Prayer cover him, satan proof him, Delilah proof your husband! If God has blessed you with a husband, pray for him. The praying woman is a winning woman; at certain times, just pray for your husband!! No matter how happy you are in your marriage, never stop praying for your husband! In case you don’t know, some people are not happy that you are happy? That husband you think is useless, some people are queuing to marry him. Take care of your home; no matter where you go, come back to your home!

13- As a woman, you are a lover!

Some women forget that you are a lover! Every man is attracted by what he sees, while a woman is attracted by what she hears. That is how we are wired! If you are an old bride beside your husband, you will push him to a Delilah! The male species like variety, even Christian men can be tempted! Therefore, you must be many things to your husband! Become unpredictable in marriage! Wear your hair differently, dress differently!

You should have two types of nightwear, the general ones and the ones only your husband can see you in; you know what I mean. Look lovely for your husband; remind him of what he has. Make the room you share have a wonderful ambience!

Touch your husband! A woman needs 13 meaningful touches a day! Remain romantic! Don’t be an old ugly bride around your husband; walk hard to retain your shape! You must be romantic and spontaneous! Befriend your husband, if you don’t befriend him, you will wake up one day and find a huge emotional gap! Don’t let your ministry or career cause a rift between you

14- As a woman you are a covering!
Look at Genesis 21:9-10

What a man can’t see, a woman can see! So, as a man learn to listen to your woman! Be careful when your wife warns you about a particular business or a friendship or woman, listen to her and try to understand her! Don’t tell your wife to shut up. As a woman, protect your husband, defend him!

15- You are a keeper, an assignment!

For example, he gives you sperm; you keep it, deliver a child and nurture that child! He tells you his vision, you keep it in mind and help nurture and bring it to pass.

City People

#trendygist, #lifestyle, #inspiration 


  1. I enjoyed reading this peace.

  2. This is DEEP. May God help our marriages work IJN - Amen

  3. Lovely.inspiring.

    Chapter three of Right but wrong. Enjoy.
    The house stood at the beginning of a cul-de-sac in Omole part of Lagos, sturdy and majestic. The building has succeeded in emanating a contrast of luxury and homeliness. Even though it spelt wealth at first glance, underlying that, it looked like . Continue from here:

  4. So true. Great inspiration for married and single yet to marry.

  5. wow! this is nworth sharing,he who has er let him hear

  6. The society needs this now.

    Please visit


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