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Wednesday, 23 December 2015

RANDOM RAMBLES IN NIGERIAN PIDGIN ENGLISH[Guest Post]

Read this hilarious conversation between two friends composed by a blog reader. Lol

John: (on the phone with Emeka) Nnaa Mekus, how far na? How this Xmas go be na?
Emeka: Nnaa Nwanna John, ground no level o!
John: As as how na? You no go come back this Xmas?
Emeka: Nna, I no sure o! Ala bu otu sef!
John: Shuo? O boy,try reach village o
Emeka: I go try my best.
John: Abeg try o. E don tey! You check am na. Your village people fit no recognize you again.
Emeka: No be just ten years?
John: You never come home for ten years...wetin de pursue you for village sef?
Emeka: Nwanna, rapu okwu! Ground no level.
John: Ground no level for Lagos? Wetin you de do there sef?
Emeka: Omo, na printing na. Wetin again I fit de do for Lawanson?
John: Printing? Printing wey de give money like wetin?
Emeka: Guy,na if you be your oga o! Na people like Emmafids getting printing na.
John: But everybody no fit be like Emmafids to make am na.
Emeka: Guy, you no understand. You np how much machine de cost? You think say na to learn printing na there e finish?
John: Mekus, Lagos na land flowing with milk and honey...
Emeka: Na so I hear..until I come lagos. Na under bridge I de sleep now.
John: Under bridge?
Emeka: You think say to get accommodation for Lagos na beans?
John: Na wa o!
Emeka: Agents go first collect money to look for house for you. And when they find am, na then de real exploitation go start.
John: Na wa o!
Emeka: You no go know who get house self: weda agent abi caretaker. Na so everybody go de extort money from you...
John: But how that one take de pursue you for village for ten years na?
Emeka: My Man Jonnie,e be like say your ears no de for wetin I de try to yarn you sef. I de tell you say to survive for Lasgidi no be here o. We just de try to stay alive o.
John: But ten years too much na. You sure say Yoruba women never hook you for there?
Emeka: (laughs heartily) Oloriburuku! How person wey no get house go take de shack up with women na?
John: You mean say...
Emeka: I get girlfriend sha. But anytime we wan gbench, na for chalet we de go na. Who get money for better hotel?
John: E no easy o!
Emeka: E no easy, my brother. But wetin man go do na? I follow vote for Buhari wey say im go change Nigeria...
John: Abeg, leave Buhari matter alone. That man case de tire people. Everybody de shout ''change, change!'' wetin dey want change? Nigeria don wowo finish. Na to de siddon look we dey now.
Emeka: How home side na?
John: My dear, Afikpo dey quiet o. Nobody sabi how dis Xmas go fit be. Dave Umahi still de do anyhow.
Emeka: I hear say Maria still de wax stronger.
John: Guy, I no know wetin Afikpo people fit take thank that woman o. She jus de try for Afikpo people. From provision of basic amenities to Afikpo people to distribution of food item and other goodies,that lady get milk of kindness in her heart. In fact,na only God go bless am.
Emeka: My dear,ten years for Lagos,crazy Lasgidi, no be ten days o!
John: Na it be say you fit qualify for that kind job wey dem de require ten,twenty or fifty years experience.
Emeka: My brother,no laugh me. People wey go school never get work,na me wey drop out for secondary school go get work pass dem.
John: E no easy o!
Emeka: E no easy, my brother. Na who I sabi? To get work for Nigeria na connection o. If you know somebody wey know somebody wey know somebody wey matter,no matter weda you study how to count sand sand for school,na oil company dem go put you o!
John: Na true you de talk o. Many people wey no get work,no be say dem no qualify o. Na because dem no get connection o. Even Phyno sing am for music say if you no get conne, you never start.
Emeka: O boy, Phyno de rule for Lasgidi. M.I jus de answer Chairman for mouth. De real Chairman na Phyno Fino!
John: What of Olamide?
Emeka: Olamide na Yoruba rapper na. Im get im own fans, but na Phyno sure pass.
John: But Olamide and Phyno de do collabo at times na...
Emeka: The two of them na two kings o. Their Collabo no be here o!
John: O boy, later o. Make I try sleep.

Abeg nor sleep o continue hahahahaha

10 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wonder why this comment is still here.

      Delete
    2. I have been offline jare.. Thanks

      Delete
  2. This one na real ramblings without head and tail. Lol.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hilarious indeed, I enjoyed the conversation.

    Honestgist.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Me sef wan sleep before I type rubbish

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like the conversation...na true talk ooo lol

    ReplyDelete

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