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Thursday, 24 September 2015

Dear Gloria She Lied To Me..

I have been an ardent follower of your blog for sometime now and I must acknowledge you for the good job you are doing..

Please i would like for your readers to advice me on this issue..
I have been dating a girl for the past two years and intend to settle down with her next year.  But, just last month i discovered that she has a 4-yr-old son.
When i confronted her she initially denied but later agreed and said she meant to tell me but don't know how to because she is afraid that if she tells me i may not want to marry her again..
I have been so disappointed because i really trusted her but now i have my doubts.. Why would she keep something of that nature away from me for two years? How am i sure she isn't keeping other secrets away from me?.
Though i love her but honestly since this discovery, the love isn't as strong as it used to be..
Should i still go ahead in marrying her?
Please advice...

My Opinion
Thanks for trusting us enough to seek our advice.
Your girlfriend destroyed the trust you have for her by lying to you and when trust is lacking in a relationship, love cannot be present..
I see no reason strong enough for making her keep a very sensitive issue of that nature away from you. I urge you to seriously pray about this because God's opinion is the best..
However, you alone can truly answer the question of whether you should still marry her or not..
Let me step aside and hear from others..

22 comments:

  1. The fact that you had to find out by yourself and she even denied it leaves a lot to be said. I don't think she's someone to be trusted. Imagine what other things she might be hiding from you. Like Gloria said, just pray well and don't be in a hurry to settle down with that kind of woman.

    Heyyy Gloria!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. like Gloria said, prayer is the key! i think she loves you so much and was afraid you may abandon her once you know the truth.

      please forgive her, love her more and her child. she is your wife. who knows what she has gone though in the hands of men?

      as people use to say, my brother, the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know.

      she loves you and you loves her? then lover covers all things. remember to years is not two minutes neither is it two days.

      congratulation in advance in your marriage!!!


      hello Gloria, how are you doing, hope you are Bouncing in the Lord?



      www.wlcmwisdom.blogspot.com

      Delete
    2. *then love cover all things*
      *two years is not two minutes neither is it two days*

      Delete
  2. Relationships nowadays needs God's grace for one to survive in it. You can imagine someone who claims she loves you not being truthful to you. How then can you trust such a person? My candid advise is that you quit the relationship because she is capable of doing more dangerous things as time goes on
    www.alabekee.com

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  3. Most times I guess the ladies are scared they might lose the relationship but not withstanding, one should be willing to let their partner know about their past. It's better that way

    We can't tell you to go on with the relationship. You know best whether you still love her or not. The only way you can continue to love her is to be sure you love her and all doubts are non existence

    Chincobee.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow this is really dicey...all you need do is to pray and ask God for directions honestly cos shez broken the trust

    Glowyshoe blog

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  5. My dear brother, this is a path i have walked and will tell you that i know how you feel, though mine is not that she had a child, when she fell sick i rushed her to the hospital dropped some money and went to work, so when i came back Docs on duties told me she had ruptured appendix but you wont believe a year after she confessed to me that she got preggers for another dude during ASUU strike..and the Ops what to remove her ectopic pregnancy...
    i told my mom n she advised that if i truly love her i should move on with, which i did buh believe me i regretted doing so just 2 years later because she bedded 5 of my friends and even got pregnant for another one...

    So bro i will advise you just walk away from the relationship before you uncover another can of worms that you may live to regret....

    www.duketundesblog.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG!!! Really?? these are the kinda gurls that make it look like all gurls are bad. smh

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    2. Some Ladies are heartless and same goes for guys too...we just need to be prayerful in choosing life partners.. This happened between ASUU strike 2009 to December 12, 2011 but now i am happily married to my long time friend whom i never thought i will be with and i am a happy man

      Delete
    3. This is a very sad one..some people have so abused this thing called love..

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    4. How will 5 of your so called friends have sex with your so called gf?

      You self check the kind of friends you attract.

      Delete
    5. @Amaka only one was kinda close, they lived in the same Hostel n he tried to warn me but didn't know how to break it to me 'He will be saying stuffs like Tunde na ur turn, but i didn't read meaning to it' the others are former school mates that we met occasionally and the last one happens to the a air ticketing dude...so not like my real friends

      Delete
  6. Any woman that hides something as sensitive as a child that came out of her for 2 whole years of relationship is plain wicked. I mean, it will be so easy for her to lie about little things and she will keep loads of secret from you....that also doesnt mean that if you sit her down, talk to her and assure her of you trust, she will not change, people differ. So poster, it is your choice to make.

    I still dont understand why some single mothers lie about their status, being a single mum isn't a disease; its not anything close to it sef.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly...it's just annoying. Besides I have someone who married a single mom, accepted the lady's son but kept it from his family because, he loves the lady and doesn't want his fam 'pouring sand in his garri'.

      In this case, if you really love her, just forgive her. I don't about the lost trust tho.

      Nma's Blog 

      Delete
  7. Dear You,

    Hmmmm . . . First, I thought she might have hid the truth cos she was scared of loosing you. But then again, the fact that she initially denied it gives me concern.

    It is obvious that you love her enough to consider marrying her even after your discovery. You are such a nice guy. I hope she loves you that much. Does she?

    ReplyDelete
  8. That's a hugeee discovery, enough to leave in shock for weeks. Now would be a great time to ask yourself some hard questions like, can I really trust her to be completely honest with me going forward? Goodluck, you seem like a nice guy.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Maybe she thought u will break off with her if u find out the truth (she doesnt want to lose u) which is exactly what u are doing. If she's so sure that ur love for her is unconditional, I don't think she will hid such vital information from u. A baby is not a bad thing but a blessing no matter how he/ she was conceived. Some people abort theirs but she birthed her's, she's a brave woman and don't need to be reminded of her past mistakes. U didn't caught her cheating and she had the baby before she met u. My uncle married a lady who gave birth at home, when people went to him, spoiling his mind about this lady cos she have given birth, my uncle replied them that the fact that she has given birth shows she's very fertile and he went ahead and married her and they are living happily with lovely kids. A girl who gave birth outside marriage is not a great news to her and don't except her to be generous with the information. She birthed her baby what of those who aborted and never told their husband before marriage. See If you really love this woman, pray over it and let God direct u. This should not be the reason. @ Duke u saw the hand writing on the wall yet u ignored it. A lady who removed an ectopic pregnancy while she's dating or courting u is not to be taken serious.




    www.beinspiredwithmily.com

    ReplyDelete
  10. Love is trust...it is your ability to sleep with your two eyes closed and still believed your partner is that very person you know!

    She has a baby, no big deal. But she lied. Hoe sure she is not having up to four children and she only decided to introduce one for now...after marriage she will introduce others. Sorry my brother.

    I advised you to kindly quit the relationship .

    ReplyDelete
  11. @all thanks for the contribution/advice.. What is wrong is wrong dearies lying with a serious issue like this no matter the circumstances is wrong.. Whoever could not accept her with her child from the onset, will still throw her out whenever he finds out.. Years ago i was to connect two persons and i needed to speak with the girl and when we sat down to talk, the first thing she told me was that she had a son even i was shocked because though we were in the same unit in church and kinda close i never. I told her to hold let me tell the guy first and when i break the news to the guy he appreciated her more for being so sincere. No matter what she shouldn't be trusted if she can conceal that news for 2 years..

    ReplyDelete

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