Wednesday, 19 August 2015

Don't Confused Desperation For Readiness... .

I recently met a beautiful young lady who got married like two years ago.. We got talking and she made a very shocking revelation.
She said that she’s been wondering why she even bothered with marriage. I nodded and quickly changed the subject deliberately not wanting to know her reasons.
I have lost count of how many times that I heard a similar ‘lamentation’ from married people. The truth is that most people get married to men/women who ordinary they couldn't cope with if they were neighbors. So imagine how it's going to be like leaving under the same roof with such persons. Most times this happens as a result of desperation especially on the part of the ladies.

Marriage is not always a Christmas party, especially for one who is not ready.
He/she will always find faults.
Feeling that you should be married because those around you expect you to or because everyone around you is getting married, I always tell intending couple that ‘everyday is not honey moon-in marriage.’

What I see in most people (clamouring for marriage) these days is actually desperation and not readiness for the marriage itself.

She is desperate because she was told that once a woman hits a certain age, her pool of suitors get considerably reduced hmmmm. so she begins to push for marriage from any man atall that looks her way. Whether or not they have shared values or their relationship is missing those vital elements no longer matters to her.  She’s just relieved to come across someone who can finally give her ‘the Mrs. title’…it doesn’t matter if she will end up paying her own bride price! Lol

He has become desperation because he probably is approaching middle age and suddenly woke up to the realisation that his mates already have teenage kids in secondary schools-while he is yet to open his own reproduction chapter. At such times, anything occupies his thoughts of a marriage partner whether the woman is his missing ribs or not so far she is a rib atall ehehehe you think guys don't also get desperate?
Now, we know that once the foundation of a marriage is faulty, even the children (involved) may not be able to hold things together.
When people are in a desperate state of mind, nothing they do stems from deep rooted convictions. And when you act out of conviction, you are better able to deal with the outcome of your choices.

That explains why a lot of people don’t find their balance once marriage splashes some of its ‘unpleasantness’ in their faces.
The end product of desperation most times is failure, not only in marriage, but in every area of life whether business, education, a journey, etc..
It's time we start differentiating between desperation and readiness..

Love you all like..........

Erniesha of incase you stop by just know that am going to miss you and your humorous blog, the family you have built and the bond.. I respect your decision and wish you the best... Have learnt so much from you over the short period of time i met you .. Thanks for impacting the blogsphere positively.


  1. Babes I don't think it's just desperation, it's the society at lager. The pressure is too much. And for those that are single they always feel their married friends have deserted them. It is left for you as a single person to know what you want and also get prepared for marriage

    Am not married but I know marriage ain't rice and beans. You have to be spiritually matured.i used to be desperate for marriage for reasons best know to me but now am like "gbagbe oshi jor" who cares??? It's better to be single than to end up in a boring marriage. A marriage you will keep lamenting for the rest of your life... People don't know what they are gonna be faced with!!!

    1. I agree with chincobee.. Marriage is not like going to the market and cumn bk.. So look well bfor you leap.. No one shuld be pressured into marriage

  2. These days people marry for all the wrong reasons
    Nma's Blog 

  3. I pity those who rush into marriage because of pressure and desperation because they will no doubt, rush out when the going gets tough. Marriage is life time contract that should be signed between two people who have whole-heartedly agreed to live together till death do them part.

  4. My dear, if only family, friends and the society at large will allow single ladies be....the pressure from outside is much.

  5. Apart from desperation, sometimes the situation of the girl's family( poverty) pushes her into any marriage. Any man that has money would suite, even if the lady isn't ready, her family members would push her too.

  6. Marriage is a serious business to be monitored especially as to when someone will go into it. Women especially need to be bothered when they have a slim chance of getting married soon at a maturity age...though desperation should completely be avoided.

  7. Cool look! Have a nice day :)

    Can you follow me back? :)
    If you comment my post, I will comment your five posts

  8. Marriage is a lifetime commitment. Before entering into the union someone needs to think twice before saying I do.

  9. Seriously, I have been in deep thought since the day I heard my friends hubby ( they have done registry ) died on Saturday.
    I heard she met the guy 3 months ago. Fiam the guy proposed, they did intro, they went to the registry last month. Wedding should be in October but he died.

    Should I say my friend did not take time to know the guy?
    Should I say everything was fast?
    Should I say she was desperate because everyone around her is married?

    Or her Parents didn't pray well?
    Only God knows the answer. I am sad.
    I was planning to buy her asoebi after my birthday but the groom died on Saturday. ..
    Hmmmmn,I cried

  10. Marriage is not a playground. It involves commitment and dedication. It is not something to rush into!

  11. This is so true dear,my childhood bestie is getting married as well,im not against her preparing for marriage at 21 but like I am freaking out for her.

    Everyone at church is telling her all these advantsges of marrying with the church and all but they dont even know each other and shes still head over heels to make such a big commitment for someone she met few months back.
    I wish she could see this.


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